The Short Answer: I Am Deranged!
The Long Answer:
read back on this and realized i sound like a crazy person. please read this while looping demolition lovers by mcr for the authentic feel
We have go to back 7 years. I was 12, about to turn 13 in a few months. Now, I had just come out of bandom and I was getting back into anime. My first major hyperfixation was on Death Note...you could probably guess my favorite ship.!
Anyways, like I said in my about page, the way I came about Durarara was kind of funny. But did you know I had actually seen Shizaya at least a year before this? I mentioned bandom earlier, right? I had came across this fanart one day on
Instagram that was supposedly "peterick" fanart. When I found it in my photos after I got into Durarara, I realized it was actually Shizuo and Izaya...
But that is besides the point. Back to 2016. I was scrolling through Netflix after finishing Death Note, looking for something else to watch, when I had saw this anime called Durarara. I was like, wtf is this? I didn't think I'd like it. But
there was this stupid bitch on the cover who was beckoning me to watch it. I managed to ignore this for a few times until one day I was like Ok Fine Damn. And so I watched it! I liked the intro it was cute. And then not even 10 seconds
in something appeared that altered the timeline permanently.
But I was still a young and naive Light at this time. I thought to myself, "Wow, he looks interesting! I would like to know about him." I was foolish. It was when I saw him properly on screen that I heard something in my head break into a
billion pieces (I think it might have been something in my frontal lobe)
To give you all a nice demonstration of how this ruined my psyche I will show you this timeline. Notice how my normalness plummets and my derangement skyrockets in 2016. This is not a coincidence. This is a direct effect of Orihara Izaya and everything he has done to me ever since.
But the name of this page is called Why Izaya, isn't it. That was just an introduction to get you all a little familiar with my head. Truthfully, I don't know the full extent of why I love Izaya the way I do. He was the first character I felt as strongly as I do for, and there is likely a lot more to it, but I will tell you what I do know.
I think he is very cute. In a pathetic way, most of the time, but he is nonetheless cute. But he is also evil and it feels like he may have fallen on his head as a child. When he interacts with people, especially Shizuo, it's very interesting to me and I want to study him under the microscope. Everything about him fascinates me, from how he perceives his own self, to how he perceives the rest of the world.
I started getting into psychology at 10 because of Criminal Minds. I thought it was so cool how they could look into these peoples minds so easily and figure out so much just from how they killed or the little things they did. Now, this didn't stay long because I didn't really try to get into it. That is, until Izaya. I saw him, and I thought, "Oh, this is what I enjoyed about Criminal Minds!" I think that had I not gotten into psychology before Durarara, I would not have liked Izaya as much in the way that I do.
Now, when I was younger, I was actually very nice to Izaya and treated him so well. Nowadays my default behavior is to complain about him like an old person talks about their partner of 20+ years. This does not mean I don't still love him. It's just weird and embarassing because he's such a freak. But whenever I remember that Izaya never had anyone to eat hotpot with I get the urge to jump off a cliff. I WOULD HAVE EATEN HOTPOT WITH HIM.....!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Izaya means everything to me bruh. He is just like me fr but also my wife but also my best friend but also my worst enemy ever. I'm not going to get into my life story because 1) that is boring and depressing and 2) I am on the internet but like everything I do can be traced all the way back to Izaya. You could ask me why I do X thing and then I'd tell you because Y reason and then you could ask why I do that and we could repeat that fun little game for a bit, maybe an hour, maybe a few minutes, but eventually you would hit the Izaya reason. It's like mining for diamonds. Don't ever give up becausethat right past last block of stone might be Diamond.
Anyways enough of the weird insane rambling and back to why Izaya. There is a lot of gap moe involved. Because so he is portrayed as evil always grinning villain or whatever right? So when there's official art of him in casual clothes or running around doing Normal things it's so CRAZY!!! It goes straight to my heart. Maybe that's why it always hurts. But isn't it just so interesting!? You don't expect it from him because he portrays himself as some omnipotent god-like figure but he's so human! Actually Shinra did say he was more human than anyone he knew, he called him fragile. The thing about Izaya is that on the surface he's some guy who gets a kick outta annoying people, but when you really press him, you can see that he's much more complicated on the inside. And you may say, "Light, that is a normal human trait and you look like a damn fool acting like this is revolutionary or unique to Izaya."
AND YOU ARE RIGHT!!!!! But he is my babygirl and no other character has ever piqued my interest as much thus far so I don't care. He is so cowardly and different from what he walks around pretending to be and I just want to pick his brain apart and find out why. If he opened up his heart and took anything in he would break. So he accepts everything equally as if he is a god. He gets jealous of how Shinra how can ignore the rest of the world and focus only on his love. He gets jealous of Shizuo, who he sees as inhuman, who has more friends than him despite his attempts to provoke him and scare them away with his anger.
Sorry that was my anime protagonist monologue coming out a little. You should have expected this tho you saw the chart I made. But ya it rly isn't all that serious actually. Sometimes I just want to beg him for pussy 342 times. Soemtimes I just wanna kick him down the stairs and see his reaction. Actually when we were first introduced to Izaya in middle school I was like really shocked because I just feel like a freak like that just spawns at age 21 ready to cause trouble. But no he has a childhood and stuff! Omg the first time I saw that scene of him up the pole cuz he was scared of the dogs I was like !?!!?!How cute...(said with a serious face) I wish Shizuo found out I think that would be really funny. Also how he still uses his middle school uniform in hs... now forgive the projection (middle school emo) but I actually think Izaya was a My Chemical Romance fan.
OKAY ALSOOOO i may have mentioned this earlier but my god izaya is so beautiful. he is so so sooooooo beautiful. and i don't just mean his looks because yes he is canonically beautiful and whatnot but i mean everything about him.